


We'll Make the Great Escape

by bjfic_archivist



Category: Queer as Folk (US)
Genre: Angst, Drama, Short
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2007-08-28
Updated: 2007-08-28
Packaged: 2018-12-27 06:52:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 811
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12075780
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bjfic_archivist/pseuds/bjfic_archivist
Summary: Sometimes it's harder to have love and lost than to have never loved at all...





	We'll Make the Great Escape

**Author's Note:**

> Note from IrishCaelan, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [The Brian/Justin Fanfiction Archive](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Brian_Justin_Fanfiction_Archive). To preserve the archive, I began importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in September 2017. I posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [The Brian/Justin Fanfiction Archive collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/bjfic/profile).

  
Author's notes: Just a one shot. I realize it's not exactly brian-ally correct, but oh well.  


* * *

I miss the way your hand would find mine, no matter what we were doing. I miss the look in you eyes when you would look over at me while you worked on a new project for school. The secret smile that would flash across your face, before you turned back to the computer.. I miss your voice, and how you would sing me to sleep on nights when I was feeling a particularly bad case of insomnia. I miss the feel of your hands on my body. No one will ever make me feel as special and wanted as you did. I miss our stupid fights we'd have over nothing.

"Why don't we just stay in tonight, Bri?"

"Cause I wanna fuck and get sucked."

I miss the way you would raise your eyebrow at me, a slow smile creeping across your face. Seduction should have been your middle name. I miss your pouting face when you would lose an argument, and I miss your smug look when you would win.

I miss the smell of your skin, just after you get out of the shower. I even miss the way you would shake the water from your hair like a dog, and get me wet.

"Jesus, Justin, can't you use a towel like normal people!"

"Whatever, Brian, you know you love to watch my ass when I do that."

I miss the way you'd lick the water off my skin, every single drop. I miss how you would end everything you said with a single nod, like there was no doubt you knew exactly what you were talking about, even if it was something completely implausible.

"No, seriously, I read that there's this fish that can live above water."

I miss the way you'd always want to cuddle after sex, no matter where we were. The more chance we had at getting caught, the more you wanted to wrap your arms around me and spoon. Work, parties, and even the cramped tunnel at the children's playground, we'd lay there, the sweat drying to our bodies and our clothes in a heap next to our feet.

I miss the way you'd dance to your ringing cellphone, before answering it. You'd always look a little disappointed that you had to answer it and quit dancing. I miss how you would bite your lip when you concentrated, especially when you'd suck your bottom lip into your mouth. That had the power to turn me on more than you'd ever know, even though I think you suspected it, because you would constantly do it around me.

It didn't matter if it was a new project, or your favorite movie, I miss how you would drop everything to kiss me. I miss the way you would try to teach me how to go-go boy dance, laughing when I'd curse and stomp around when I couldn't get my hips to sway in that particular manner.

I miss the way you would clap your hands when you were excited, and how you would blush when someone pointed it out.

"It's such a little kid thing to do, dammit."

"You look adorable when you do it."

I miss laying in bed late at night with you, and feeling you give me Eskimo kisses in the dark, before you fell asleep.

Sometimes, I'll stand on the street outside what use to be our apartment, staring at the stars, and wonder if you know how much I can't stand not being with you. You were such a part of me, my stalker, my lover, my life...and I can't even explain how incomplete I feel.

My heart use to beat for just you, Justin, and now it barely beats at all. Not that I would ever tell anyone. 

I was wreck after it happened. Michael was over every night, just to make sure I didn't do anything stupid.

I'm not going to lie to you, there's no way I could get away with it, I thought hard about it. Ending it, to be with you. How easy it would be, to just swallow the pills and down the alcohol. I didn't believe I could move on, learn to live without you by my side. But I did, bay-beh. I grew stronger with each day. 

I still think about you everyday, every minute and I still cry at night, hugging your pillow that still smells like you, but I'm getting back into life. Living it as best I can. 

I stare into the sky, my arms wrapped around my waist and tears running down my cheek, cold rivers falling onto the neck of my t-shirt. I smile at the star shining the brightest, sighing...

"There's just no getting around it, Justin...

I **miss** you."


End file.
